all round sounds like you are moving forward in your life, regardless of H. You may want to develop a Plan B for a career switch. NOT saying your H won't want to stay M, but IF he does not, can you honestly imagine still working together? Isn't it possible that a part of him does not want to divide assets or work with someone else, and yet not want to be M to you? He may not feel that way at all, or he may but not know it, or he may but is not telling you yet and wants to take things incrementally...???Can't worry about all that, BUT you can start imagining what you might do with your life if you did something else. Maybe even if you DO stay M, you could work elsewhere. I think constantly being together is a hard thing to do in most M's. My job offer at the moment is at H's company. I have specifically told them I do NOT want to work at his location b/c of this, AND b/c other employees tend to gossip and or use one of us against the othter (as in, telling me that "H was abrupt with so and so in the operating room...." and or telling H while he is in the OR about how a trial I am in, as a lawyer not a defendant, is going and h needs to focus on HIS job, not mine, etc, Not H's fault or mine, but the nature of the beast). Also, it's a bit boring and weird to have the business in common, and not a lot else. Start to feel like business partners only, not lovers....food for thought, okay?
As for ml, what does your DB coach say? I did Not have ow to contend with and that makes a huge difference I'm sure. But at one point I chose to continue with ml b/c I felt that it was rare for a man to return to a woman he never had good sex with, and our chemistry was always a positive. DB coach supported this AS LONG AS I could handle it. Sometimes I felt unsure and it was hard to stay in the moment. I just had to contrast H's negative images or justifications, with warmth-physical and emotional, etc.
Good luck, and as long as you can do the DB coaching, do so, b/c it is specific and therefore easier to manage. Okay, one day at a time Tam...you can do this. Two steps forward and one step back, is still progress. BUT your H did tell you to your face that he does NOT like R conversations....by continuing to do them anyway, is a bit dishonest of you b/c you ask him as if you care what he'll say and you'll process it, but in reality, you'll keep pursuing no matter what he says... See how that could look to Him? hugs- j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
