Thanks for popping in on me....yep, been around....reading mostly with a few postings to others...
I have been working longer days because H is still not working and I only have about 6 weeks until school is out...if I take summer school I get 1/2 days at best...so I am preparing as best I can...
H has finally gone for a psychiatric evaluation and they set an appointment for him to see a psychiatrist about his depression and also suggested couples counseling for us which I am all...he appears to be as well since he brought it up...
One of the main issues is our communication...we had a "discussion" yesterday about our son and finally at the end I found out what the problem was with our communication...lol, you gonna die laughing that it took me this long to figure out!!!! He really does expect me to read his mind!!!...he told me flat out I should be able to read his body language and know how he feels....well excuse me!...the man sends mixed messages like crazy and I really don't KNOW unless he verbally tells me...so this is something that I am going to log in my mind for our counseling session...you see H proffesses to be able to "read" people...he is a visual learner...so that is probably true to an extent...but I don't do that well....sure I can tell if someone is really sad, angry, happy...but I can't tell you why...or how...or what to do about it...my mode of working on things is to lay it out and talk about it...his is to just shut up and figure it out....so obviously it isn't working now...and this was the problem in our M before because he would always allow me to think things were fine and so I would go on about my happy ways until he got so fed up he left me after being together for nearly 27 years!!!...I mentioned that things need to be different now because he "let me" believe things were okay all that time and I won't stick my head in the sand like that again...his response was "so you are telling me that I lied to you for the whole 25 years we were married?"....I said "NO...you let me believe things were okay and didn't correct things with me....you just left when you had had enough...I don't want that to happen again...I want us both to be happy...to be partners...and on that I note I want you to know that I am not sitting here saying take me as I am....this is me...if you don't like it move on....I am saying that I am willing to continue working on myself and with you."
So that is where we are at right now...the positive to this is last week he really started making an effort to tell me first that he loved me, appreciated the things I was doing for us, he would initiate hugs and other compliments...this is a huge one for me to hear as he was always verbally and physcially reassurring to me before all of this blew up 2 1/2 years ago...
As we were laying in bed he said "I really appreciate the patience you have shown me...most women would have kicked my butt out...I want you to know I am thankful that you are being so patient with me."...
So...it is not always bliss and non-rollercoaster riding after they come home...in many ways I have been tested harder and deeper since he has returned home...is it hard? YEP...do I think I made a mistake taking him back? NOPE...at least not yet!...
Again, V...thanks for checking in on me...I have never had a very active post...actually I think this one is my longest ever on this board...lol...I am not one who has had the priviledge of locking up a thread either...so I really do feel special when you and others still come and ask how I am...because there are days when I have to ask myself that same question...
