You had started down a path with your breakthrough conversation with your wife. Where has it gone?
I think there is agreement that there is no need to address the issue with LFL with your wife. The question is where is the first EA in YOUR mind? Are you over it?
I have a feeling that seeing the hurt the EA caused your wife is painful for you. It may go even deeper because it may stir up feelings about how your father treated your mother. Chrome, whether you had an EA or PA does not make you a bad person. You made a mistake and EVERYONE makes mistakes. The great thing is that you have owned up to it. Not everyone owns up to their mistakes so you are ahead of the game. Also from what your wife said to you I think she understands the mistake. HER worry is how you view her. DO you love HER? Do you want HER? Or as she said, do you want her to be someone she is not? It is your responsibility to tell her that you love her and that she is the woman you want to be with. It is also your responsibility to tell her that you want to have a better marriage. Of course she has some responsbilities also. You cannot force her to own up to them however you can take on your own issues and you can eventually get her into couples counseling which can lead to her own personal counseling.
How are you doing with your personal counseling? Are you reading any books? I just finished Care of the Soul (again) which I highly recommend. I am getting ready to reread Middle Passages and so is one of my best friends. These books aren't the complete answer but they do have some significant ideas and may help you realize that many of your issues are normal. You are a successful man and you need to start realizing that and living like that.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
