Afterall..... This IS my life IV for heatherg

[fearless]

fearless - Well maybe look ahead to the trip in LV and decide some things that you and H would want to do.

Heather -That would be an excellent idea if he agreed to come, but he's not.

Anyway... my point would be that being empathetic and letting your H know that you understand it is inconvenient, a pain in the azz, and not his idea of a perfect weekend however you would really appreciate the time with him.

I had the order of things mixed up in my post. I know he is not empathetic with you but I think reaching out to him can be useful. Let him know you understand why he would not want to go but that it would mean a lot to you. He may still not go but at least you let him know you understand his reasons for not going. And if he does not go, let it go. Try not to personalize it and just tell him that you understand that travel and being away from home is difficult for him.

Do I have to make a checklist of every possible thing you might think of and then make sure I address each one to assure that my opinion is considered?! His reaction was ridiculous.

Not to be picky but judging his reaction is not helpful That said, why was ist impossible for you to stand your ground on having porcelain handles? I think the fact that he gets his way on so many things starting with these little things makes it easy for him to get his way on everything else. (Until you explode but that is not a healthy way to get power)

Heather, it is impossible to know because I do not know your H at all, but he does seem like a man that tends to feel like he has no control over his life. What is his job like? Does he enjoy it and feel great at it? How do his parents treat him - are they proud of him and respectful of him?

I also addressed some of my concerns in my post to Cobra. I think you are in a tough spot because you do need to consider your H's feelings and try to empathize. At the same time doing that when you do not get the same consideration is a really tough thing. Plus you need to empathize in a way that does not have you aquiescing to him - not an easy task. I have confidence that you are capable of it. I am glad to see that you like the quote "Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can." It is appropriate for almost any personal or work situation!!

Good luck!