It's been awhile

[Heywyre]

Wow - that sure was a vent, an amazing one at that - congratulations!!

Now, I can't help but comment on your W's lifestyle - wholly crap!!! I should be so lucky. Sheesh, where does she get off living like a princess and then fliting off to spend time with her friend? Is she bi?

I have to say, after the "A" was discovered in our house, my H started spending A LOT of time with his male friend. I know there was nothing going on sexual, but it was really starting to cause a problem in our R. After all, here I am, at home doing everything (basically like you are) working fulltime, which he works 2-3 days a week and I come home and he's out having coffee with his friend and then has the bloody nerve to say "Can XXX come over for supper tonight?" - and H doesn't cook so you know what that meant. I took it for a while because I felt sorry for his friend (his W died 4 years ago) but give me a break! Then I found out his friend is having an A with his friend's W - do you believe it? I told my H I didn't want anything to do with that situation and that we had enough problems of our own. I also told him that unless he started putting me first, instead of his "friend" there wasn't much use on working on this R. I know that was harsh and he has to have his "time out" but his time out was called avoidance. Basically it came down to spending time with the friend so he wouldn't have to be with me and risk having to talk about the mess we were in. Well, I drew the line and said, at the very least, he would have to give me at least half of his time. That was about 2 months ago and we have made incredible progress now that the "friend" is pretty much out of the picture. H has even said that he doesn't want to spend time with him if he is going to continue on with that "relationship". His friend wanted to go out for supper the other night - the 4 of us - no way! I didn't say anything, just to see what H would say but he made some excuse and said "maybe another time" and then got off the phone and said "I don't want any part of that" - so its good, he is starting to see the bigger picture.


Enough of me, back to you - have you approached her with this "firend" thing and what does she say? I am still in shock as to what she does all day

H and I have always been of the opinion if you are a couple, you both work towards building your dreams (financially and/or sweat labour) she doesn't seem to be doing either