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~Sol Offline OP
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I wanted out of this M due to her inability to commit and to seek professional help regarding her depression. She has way too many issues for me to handle all by myself, and only seeing a counselor will help her.

I don't know who my wife is anymore....


~Sol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Single Dad, and luvin it!
~ Happiness is a state of mind ~

~Sol #1031614 04/27/07 06:08 PM
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I can totally understand, Sol. I don't like the person that my H is at times right now either but I hold onto the hope that the best is yet to come. If I look back over the past 4 months, I have dealt with some total crap, STD scare from OW when I was still clueless, H calling me horrible names, lies, deceipt. I visualize this possessed, evil person just spewing out venom. The best day for me was when H realized that he needed professional help for HIMSELF! Your wife is going to hit bottom and I hope that she will get herself some help.

Hang in there. Take off by yourself if you need to be alone.

~Sol #1031618 04/27/07 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted By: sol1696
I wanted out of this M due to her inability to commit and to seek professional help regarding her depression. She has way too many issues for me to handle all by myself, and only seeing a counselor will help her.

I don't know who my wife is anymore....


Sol, give me a call when you get a chance dude... let's chat a bit...

Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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Sometimes it's a good thing to get a room locally and give yourself some time and space to think...works for me when I just can't take any more. Just in case you're thinking you don't have anywere to go.

Sol, this is HARD, but you know you can do it. You have come so far already. The emotions and decisions you are facing are tough, but you can and will make it to tomorrow, and next week, and on to a better place.

(((hugs)))


Me-36
H-36
3 young children
Married-14y
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~Sol Offline OP
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I am going home now. I don't know how I will act when I'm there, but I will try to just be myself.

Right now, she is NOT my wife.


~Sol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Single Dad, and luvin it!
~ Happiness is a state of mind ~

~Sol #1032156 04/27/07 09:45 PM
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I prayed for you....

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~Sol Offline OP
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I'm trying to be OK...

It is hard. I tried to hold her, but I can't.


~Sol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Single Dad, and luvin it!
~ Happiness is a state of mind ~

~Sol #1032640 04/28/07 11:36 AM
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~Sol Offline OP
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Made it through the night without confronting her. I feel I need to, or she will think that affairs are easy and she will do this again if we continue to have problems down the road.

She doesn't control me anymore. She has no room to talk. She's just another person in my eyes, not my wife. She thinks she can just make a happy home and I will forget about all of this, but she breached my trust big time. Now I can't even touch her in bed, but I can still sleep wherever the hell I want to. There will be a "talk", and I have been advised to be calm when I speak, let her vent, but for me to stay cool when I tell her about the sex. She needs to know that I know. As far as I am concerned, this marriage is over - it's not a true marriage but one that is based on lies.

Last edited by sol1696; 04/28/07 11:36 AM.

~Sol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Single Dad, and luvin it!
~ Happiness is a state of mind ~

~Sol #1032681 04/28/07 12:55 PM
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Hi Sol!

Yepp, the old marriage is dead. It died awhile ago, probably before her affair. The question is, do you want a new marriage with this person after a lot of hard work, or not?

OTB


Me - 47
Her - 46
4 kids, 2 still at home
~Sol #1032682 04/28/07 12:55 PM
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I am surprised he hasn't told her that you two talked. He will soon I think. I would sit the wife down and say "I just had an interesting conversation with your boyfriend about your affair and the medical issues the four of us may now have(including the sister). If she wants to stay she has to do all the work. Just don't bluff....say what you mean and mean what you say!!

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