The dam that's been threatening to burst in me has burst reading your post. You'll have to excuse me if I can't thank you just yet, though .
RGM, these are necessary realizations and you will have to walk through the aftermath. I went through something similar at the end of last year regarding my mother. Odd though it may sound, trust me, this can begin the unburdening of your heart if you let it. I know it hurts, crushes really, but it is for your good and the good of your family if you will continue this intropection and make the effort to bring about change in these areas you DO have control over.
If I can leave you with anything now it is simply this:
The heart of a walk-away wife, no matter how "done" she says she is and even appears to be, her heart can be turned back to her husband in all it's fullness.
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