I been coming here, and reading the stories of people finally giving up...well, they just haven't been very encouraging...so I intentionally stayed away for a while.
Things have been the same in my sitch....friendly..getting along fine...run to OM at any chance...
That F'er got to call morning noon and night....we could be getting along fine and ring ring...forget about me...
I know its to be expected...but damn...have some courtesy and answer somewhere other than in my face...
Turns out mr wonderful bounced a check or two....almost had his electric turned off....yeah, she can pick the good ones now..
I can't wait till she dumps this scumbag...even if she don't come back to me, just knowing that she got smart enough to get this loser out of her life will be a small crumb of satisfaction.
Anyway...its not about him...so I keep telling myself...
I did pass my bartenders exam....barely squeaked by, but I did it!!
12 drinks in 7 minutes to pass...did it in 5:05...messed up a bunch....but thats still good time.
Not looking for a job till I get out of here....enjoy my last days, as it were...
W didn't pass....almost...but she froze up on last two...if she would have trown anything in the glass she would have got enough points to pass I think...she was very upset...tears and all...did the best I could to comfort her...but I guess its not my comfort that helps her anymore :-(
She tried again today, but after going out all week till the wee hours and not studying...she couldn't get back into the groove...no patience...or confidence sometimes...gives up way to easily...then again I wonder if me being there is more of a distraction to her than help....she did ask me to go...so I don't know...
I wonder why I should even care...still hurts to see her upset...still want to help her...and yet I can't. There is that feeling of well, maybe if you weren't spending all that time with alcoholic grampa you would have done it....I don't say that of course...just can't understand how she doesn't see that though...
I have given in to temptation and given her a couple naked massages this past week when she couldn't sleep....I told you I'm weak....I'd crawl across broken glass just to touch her...meant nothing of course....but for a brief time I was in heaven....what a sap I am....and I'd do it again in a second...
Anyway....monday is my last day in the house unless an act of God intervenes...and I have been praying.... I don't believe I'll have internet at my parents, so I want to take this time to thank you LN especially, and others who have offered advice.... you really have been a tremendous help to this lovelorn fool....and I wish you much luck in your owm sitch....
I don't know what comes next...I do know she has the D papers under the seat of her car....I don't know what to do when she presents them to me....sign? don't sign? what happens if I refuse to sign....
Also noticed on the papers she's taking her maiden name back....jeez...that really hurts....I mean, what, forget the past 20 years even happened?? My God, that really stings!!
I'll try to get back, maybe from a wireless connection at Starbucks or something....
In the spirit of that old movie cocktail, here is this new bartenders MLC poem:
May we wake one day to find love has grown and returned to us from where it has flown To find our MLCers finally have awoken to fix our hearts once mistakenly broken To start again, all fresh and new to discover a love that will always be true to have and to hold..till death do us part together, one life, one love, one heart
Cheers....and the bar is OPEN!!!!!!!!
M41 W36 D19 D17 Married 20 Years Bomb Dropped Feb 14,2007...Our Anniversary and Valentines Day