New Thread for 2940!!!!!

[25yearsmlc]

29,

I'll read the rest of the posts shortly and write more later. For now, let me state the obvious. You have to get out of the business you have with him. It is not easy, but it is also NOT complicated. Quit and leave, start over, Buy him out, or delegate all contact with him to someone else. Meanwhile, ONLY speak of business items with him. Right now, you are simply being slowly, but surely destroyed inside.

Every suggestion I made generated a rationalization from you, for pursuing him. No matter what WE say, I think you'll keep doing what you are doing until the End is obvious. You may well lose your H no matter what you do. We just know what does NOT help and you are doing that. I understand the smothering in a way, b/c you feel you are losing him, you want to possess him that much more. But it is NOT working..... I understand he has put you in a horrible position and HE is sending the Mixed signals by sleeping with her, but throwing you some scraps often enough, to keep you in business, literally and emotionally. Of course you cannot keep this facade up much longer, you'll have a meltdown and maybe lose everything...the M, the business, your self respect, and yet more days/nights of your life feeling like crap and, wondering why, why, why??? Don't let yourself circle the drain until you go down it.

You are going to have to remove yourself from the sitch and MAYBE he'll come back, but what you are doing NOW is NOT getting him back. Do you think it IS working b/c he has not fled the state? Facts are that ow is still very much around, and your h isn't saying anything REAL or committing about the M, just that somehow you two will be "okay." I don't even know if he's talking about the M, or the business. DO NOT ASK him for the answer!! Seems it is just like the phrase "cake and eating it too", don't you think? Just do your best to lessen his participation in your life. Take a night class asap and do SOMETHING at night that he does not do and
wait WAIT, I forgot, no matter what I say, you are going to say you cannot do it. You are too busy, or lonely or ....STUCK in victimhood. I want to help you and obviously I'm using the 2x4 method. But right now, your h has faced few consequences for behavior that really is outrageous. Answer this question, 29...what would it take for you to believe it's over? Do you have a line in the sand somewhere in you? Don't feel judged now. We ALL have lines in the sand and sometimes those lines shift or are blurry...but I really think you have to start thinking about Plan B. Bottom line, Plan A is what you are doing and it is not working.

You know, I do believe that "where the head goes, the heart will follow."


Part of you already knows that this IS crazy... b/c it is. Please TALK to yourself and commit to Not asking your h for ANY affection/words of affirmation/approval/permission/status of the R...Please just try it for one week, then another. You'll feel better, stronger and who knows? Maybe you'll see some results...
j-