Am a newbie. Trying to keep my cool. Married to M 16 years. M is unable to take self responsibility for himself. My children and I have put up with his verbal abuse for many years. He has no steady income and expects me to pick up the tab for him since I make more money than him. When I tell him that I've found out he has used my credit card without my knowledge I get no verbal response from him. I've had to file taxes separately because am scared of an audit because he works under the table and won't do the proper paperwork. My children go hungry sometimes. I don't eat sometimes so my children will. Our utilities have been shut off before and I paid to get them back on line. He never says thank you for all that I do. When I try to talk to him about what needs to be done am told all I do is nag and bag him and that I've never been there to support him. He won't pay his traffic tickets. He won't work long enough so there is a steady income for us. Sometimes things are okay and then when he brings home a couple of hundred dollars he's all nice and when the money is gone he's mean and angry to everyone in the house. He's an alcoholic and says he has to drink because of me. He ignores me at my children's school functions. He tells my boys how I just want to break up our family. Am devastated. I wonder what I ever saw in him the first place. He spoils holidays and birthdays with his drinking and attitude towards everyone. One side of me loves him only because I feel sorry for him, the other side of me wants nothing to do with him. He's always on the pity pot. Everyone is always ot to get him. He provides no financial support to his family. He blames me for everything. I don't want my life or future ruined any more.I can't divorce because he will get half of my retirement and savings. I've kept myself physically healthy and look years younger and am in good shape. I am going crazy.
