Hum de dum...........

[ANewMe]

I think RCR has given you some really good advice. I wish I had a plan of what to do. I think it may be time to just move on as if H is NEVER coming back. I have to convince myself of that somehow. You know from our phone conversations that I have been given no sign from God that indicates that I should give up but I can't keep wondering.

God bless you, Holly. You will someday be a success story like Yellowrose.

[Holly06]

Wow, RCR, thank you.

I see what you are saying and there is alot to be said for this.

My recent bout of sadness was really not related to TJ, but I felt I was living the reality of what I was dreading when TJ left.
I am very comfortable with the progress that TJ has made. I think in these terms:
My marriage/relationship with TJ has a dual road to take.
1. The postive relationship with TJ that I have fostered.
2. The ending of his R with OW(this is a benchmark) and resolving his MLC.
These 2 things need to work in tandum. RIght now our R has made so much progress, that his MLC "adventure" needs to catch up.

So be still.

This is a growing time for me. I feel it. I see it. I am happy most of the time.

I do have alot of support, and I take care of me.

But when you have 2-3 days without distractions, I live alone, no family in town, it gets to you.

So I reach out to people.
I love the connections that have made on these boards.
They are special.
It is just another way of working on me.
TJ accused me of being anti social.
So this is something I am a little sensitive about.

I want to say 1 more thing about this process that I firmly believe.

You do 90% of the work for 10% of the results.
Then 90% of the results will be 10% of the efforts.

I know the work I am doing on myself, and my R with TJ are working. I am grateful for what I see and feel from him.
It is really more than I expected at this time.
I am prepared for another year of this at least.
So being still feels good.

Thanks for your care. It means alot to me.

Holly

[Lissett]

God has blessed you with such peaece. I love that. It is you, all over you.

Your kindness, RCR couldn't be more correct. Holly, those eyes of yours, you can take one look in them, and you know everything is going to be ok.

I am blessed that I was able to meet you in person. I can't wait for that to happen again.

I think I am going to be the body guard and your D's wedding anyway.


Oh speaking of weddings. I thought you might get a chuckle.

Puff's sis is getting married in Auguest.

The Fiancee, which is a close family friend of mine, since we were kids, has hired security for the wedding. If puffnuts shows up with the roadkill, they will be excorted out.

(sigh) feels nice.


I just wanted to say, that thru your patience, will come all your answers.

luv ya

[MidwesternGirl]

I love all of this be still stuff.

When we are still it means one thing but when H's are still???? Depression, up to some no good and ready to throw something major at us...............

I would rather leave it all up to God then speculate. God never leaves us and it does say in the Bible, "Ask and ye shall receive...."

[Holly06]

Ah,
Steeler,
Be still, or take a breather from spinning?

I see a big difference. We are still to listen to our soul, or inner self, God. We stand for a long time and ask the question, "what do You want me to know?"

When H are taking a break from spinning, and in the clutches of alien-ness, they are breathing loudly, and listening to their ego, the devil, or feelings, all of which cannot be trusted.
When H stop, and be still, that is when the pain takes hold and they will try to quiet the pain with some last ditch efforts, drown the sound out.
But,
when they acknowledge as a last resort, to pay attention to their heart, listen for God, their inner self, they will be at the bottom. After a fashion, they will start the climb up.


I will further confess, that being still can be different things to different people. For you SF, it might mean staying away from H for awhile. For another, it might mean staying away from these boards, while sometimes, it means a fast and a prayer.

What does Be Still mean to you?

[Holly06]

Lissett,

If you are a body guard, then I will need to hire more guards to guard your body. Glad to, or,
maybe the poolboyz will come too! They will be Fine in tuxedos!

Holly

[MidwesternGirl]

Being still means this to me:

Shut up, let go, and let God deal with all of it.
His timing and ours is not the same so get used to it.
Patience and kindness and full trust in God are learned during this dark time.
Always remember that God is working in him, and in me even though we do not always see results.

Being still also means that God is on our side because he hates adultery and divorce. If we are faithful and ask God, he will help us along and in the end might restore our marriage(s).

Deep down, I think we will be back together--when, I do not know.

[Holly06]

I am considering a retreat.
It is a personal choice, to find a deeper meaning for Me.

I will need to find courage to take this retreat, but it might be what I need to find more courage and a newer, deeper spirituality.

[Lissett]

OMG, NO you didn't! your email???????

aWWWWWWWWWWWWw I need a date.

[Holly06]

Work work work. Work work work.

Date, check.
deoderant check.
great shoes, check.

anything else?