I think I see more good from bad in what you write. And I think you are onto something. If you can look back and see the things that were broken in the marraige - and continue to proactively keep them fixed, we have a great shot of saving our M's.
Having been a back seat leader in my M and with my family - in part because I felt repressed and underappreciated - I can see your H's side of it. But I also believe that we should shed "ourselves" completely either. Meaning, two strong individuals make an even stronger couple.
I think you are on the right path. Worry not about a bomb coming, but instead how you avoing giving your H bomb parts. To me that was done by getting my act together first, and unconditionally loving my spouse.
I'd say your piecing...
Good luck and keep posting.
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
