With the guy living out of state there is a good chance things will die out. Those long distance relationships can be difficult to maintain. Do you happen to know off-hand if he'll be back in your area any time soon?
In the meantime... are you working out at the gym, buying yourself attractive clothes, taking care of YOU?
One thing to consider... our spouses can meet OP at any time. It could end with one tomorrow and then they find someone else the next day... what you want is to work on yourself so the whomever you are with (hopefully the wife) will want to make you the first choice. Being depressed, angry, or insecure isn't going to create this. You need to focus on yourself, read relationship books, books about women (how to attract, meet their needs, be their friend, etc...), you need to make yourself a "magnet" to females, the kind of guy any woman would want to be with. By doing this, hopefully your wife will be wise enough to realize she has something special and she better hang on.
Work on being your wife's friend right now, ask her lots of questions, be a great listener, get a baby sitter and invite her out one night a week, get the whole family together and go hiking or to the zoo... relax, take things easy, be positive and just try to be her friend. Try to create positive situations, good times, and good memories.
You can't change your wife, if she does find someone else and wants to leave she'll do it, but take this time while you're together to work on your relationship skills (on YOU). You won't lose anything by doing that and you may end up making your marriage a whole lot better.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
