Wow, it's been a while since I checked in and I hadn't realised my post was getting more answers. Quite a lot there to look through and a lot of different view points.
My sitch has pretty much moved on anyway...I have been living back with him since November and over the last couple of months there have been many niggles and disagreements and many times he has said he wants me out. I have pretty much bitten my tongue and carried on as usual, this is a 360 for me as I'd normally argue and leave. This went on for sometime and his asking/telling me to leave became more persistent, so last weekend I stayed over at my own house. He called a lot and asked me to go out, said he wanted me to go back and denied saying he'd ever asked me to leave. So I went back and he was more attentive and affectionate in general although the only time we had sex I felt like a blow up doll. I had to go on a trip over Wednesday night and got back late last night, he called as I was nearing home and offered to make me something to eat, which was really kind of him, and we ate watching some TV, I liked this as we always sit at the table for dinner, I said so and then listened to a lecture on how he didn't want it to become a regular thing, it was OK very occasionally but he didn't want to make a habit of it. I couldn't even be bothered to answer, I'd just driven 350 miles over 7 hours and was exhausted. So I drank most of a bottle of wine and we went to bed. I initiated sex, something I rarely do as I am so often rejected but after a bottle of wine I was more daring. So I go down on him, and realise after a while he doesn't want me to get up, I'm doing my thing and wondering should I get up and go on top, then just think it's not worth it, it will be unsatisfactory anyway...he finishes, I move up the bed and stroke his stomach and he starts talking about how many MPG I was getting in my car over the journey. I listened for a while becoming quite angry then turned my back told him he was selfish and could he not put the shoe on the other foot and imagine how he would feel if our roles were reversed. He said we wouldn't have sex again it wasn't worth the hassle I was always unhappy and he went to sleep in another room. Tonight I have come back to my house. Writing about it I see lots of places I could have done better last night and the wine probably didn't help. I feel like the whole time I've been back I've bent over backwards to keep things running smoothly, and he said he's not going to do anything he doesn't want to do. I feel he's like a stone pillar completely immovable and if I want our realthionship to work then I have to do all the changing. It has my head battered and I really feel I've done as much as I can, and I don't know what to do next.
