You don't seem to understand this though CeMar, if you will do your part to overcome the relational issues....she will be more likely to do something about HER issues if they exist. That is where cause & effect comes into play....and where YOU have control in getting it going.
To go back to Cobra's fishing analogy, if you but the lure on the line and throw it out in the water (your part in the relationship), she will be more likely to swim up and take the bait (meeting your needs and addressing her issues) as a result.
However, if you don't do the work it takes to bait the hook and cast the line out....she won't swim up and take the bait, you won't catch that fish.
It seems to me though that you are still finding reasons why you CAN'T do the work everyone keeps telling you is necessary of you. You keep coming up with excuses and possibilities...what if's. What if's are just that....supposition, they aren't fact. Yet you talk about the what if's as if they are a certain outcome of any effort you may try. THAT is self defeatest.
