Hey I just realized my last thread locked up. Didn't even realize it. So that on spanned a very long time.
Today was an interesting day for us. Interesting things going on in our lives. Stressful but interesting and good.
I didn't get any sleep last night. On Wednesdays I have to deal with a situation that stresses me out a bit. Although I think I deal with it very well I'm not sure that I do. My W told me today that it is every Wednesday that I do not sleep.
Now the funny thing is that I went to bed thinking I was angry at her. But maybe I'm just on edge from other things and maybe something small and meaningless that she does is misinterpreted by me and I get angry for no reason. Don't know but the evidence seems to point to this.
Yesterday she was concerned that the car was having problems. We had heard a thump the other day that sounded like the transmission having troubles. I needed to take the truck for a business trip and thought she was just using it as an excuse for us not to go because it was something she didn't want to do but I thought was very important to get done immediately. Today we were driving and I heard the same thump and realized it was just something in the bed sliding around. I then realized that she had had legitimate concerns about it breaking down. Finances are tight at the moment, very tight but won't be for long. she was extremely concerned that we would break down and not have the $$ to fix it. I felt a little stupid.
She didn't know I had been angry at her and now I'm very relieved I did nothing to let her know, because I was going to. Close call.
But I've got to say she did nothing but take care of me when I was in an angry state. She cooked dinner last night and breakfast this morning. That is extremely unusual. I do ALL of the cooking.
So today we went looking at houses after we finished our business trip. GAWD I wanted to grab her in my arms. But I was just so exhausted that I didn't.
So I don't know. sometimes I get so frustrated in thinking we are stagnant and other times I think it will be very soon.
I've finally really figured out completely what it means to want but not need. I get that now.
As has been the case in the past for me the start of a new thread has always meant a step forward for us. Let's all hope this one is a big step forward.
