When I read that document from my L today, I was overwhelmed with frustration, and my first instinct was to get on this board again. I was right. I feel much calmer and see that maybe it isn't so catastrophic after all.
It's funny that you were posting about the "nudge for H to fall" when I was posting the same thing (at the same time) to Friendly. I think we think alike, LOL!
OK, Always, I will take a deep breath and hope that some good will come out of this. If this is what it takes to get the OW out of H's house, then I KNOW it is a good thing!
I wonder if you need to consult with the bar aqssociation on that one. Maybe Atty Tom or BBA will chime in with some advice. You really can not accept someone representing you that is a loose cannon.
Look into this. It may help you cope with the out of control feelings.
This really sucks eggs. (((((((Val))))))))))
These hugs really do feel good, don't they?
Holly
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
My L seems to have a personal grudge against H but I think it is because of H's arrogance, as you said. He was ordered to fill out Interrogatories last December, and he still hasn't sent them in. He was ordered not to spend "marital assets" and he spent almost $100,000 of it. He was ordered to maintain health insurance for me, but I was not covered (and unaware) for six weeks while H and his OW were fully covered.
I can understand why my L dislikes H. Now that I'm calm and I'm writing this, I'm not so fond of H myself. LOL!
But I still wish my L had informed me before springing this surprise on me today. I told him (nicely) that I wanted to be told in advance about any future actions.
Look on the one positive side of this This may be the thing that makes H hit rock bottom.
It is a longshot but my be the good that comes from an over bearing L who sees the whole process as a business deal and there are no feelings involved at all in a L's mind.
The week after H left after coming home for 8 days his L sent a letter to mine saying we were holding things up. excuse me...? I nicely told my L he came home and left again and well he has refused to talk about the settlement and please tell his L to shove it up her >>> well.. he said ok will put it in legal terms !! but will get the point across. I have not heard from mine or his L since For when I confronted H about the letter he said he got a copy of it by email and he did not tell her to send it.?? do I believe him.. not sure since I have learned how cutthroat these L are. I asked him what he wanted to do and he said leave it up to the L? (darn I sure hope he did not do that for all I know papers were filed and I don't even know. I have this nightmare of the L's working it out and I wake up to find I lost everything.) but that tells me that when you do that the L do as they feel necessary to move things along so they can get their money.
some L are very aggressive and see only the $ and there is no room for emotion. But you are paying him to represent you. He is employed by you and you are the one in control he needs to know that you are not pleased but do it from here on without emotion. Be very business like cut and dry to the point. He is not to do anything with out first consulting you this is your right.
So all you can do is try to smooth things over the best you can.
Be strong in front of your H don't fall apart let him know you did not do this and this was brought on by his actions and if he wants to resolve it you are willing to listen.
things will work out sending {hugs} H
m24 yrs h 50 me 47 s 21 s 17 left 5-30-06, and 12-4-06 still gone.............
Be strong in front of your H don't fall apart let him know you did not do this and this was brought on by his actions and if he wants to resolve it you are willing to listen
This is really good advice.
Now, if I can spell advice without spell check, we have somethin' here1 Holly
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
the clerk of courts is what got my D going not the L.....H filed 90 days ago and had done nothing else so a confernce was ordered between lawyers and a judge...now financials are due may 1 from both of us...and mediation round one for interim spousal support june 12th at 9am followed by a hearing with a judge if not resolved...after all i have no car he has 2...he gives me no money even for groc...he put $70 in the chk acct...$35 went to my anti d's...what am i supposed to live on while he lives the high life. My L is agreessive but i need it as H has a skanky firm. Sad to see it come to this but i guess there was nothing else left to do. Maybe he will have face his consequences finally.....
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
i think my H has been on the ledge quite a while too
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Sometimes aggressive L's are necesary, especially when the spouses aren't fair about finances. I'm sorry that you have had to go through all of that with your H.
My H has actually been good about spousal support. I have asked him several times if we could work out a property settlement so that it wouldn't have to go to court, but he never would. Now the L's have taken over, and it's getting messier by the day.
