You haven't given me any bad advice. I appreciate everything you have said. Some of it has already produced excellent results--like the lunch box notes. I put a note inside his lunch box again last night. He looked inside this morning to see what I put in there. He asked for yogurt and a boiled egg, so that is what I gave him. He decided he wanted another boiled egg, so he added one and said, "And there's another note. I've been a good boy." He was beaming.
H hasn't really done much to earn the title of "good boy" but I don't care right now. Just seeing him so happy is enough along with with the playfulness the other night and being a better listener. They are small things, but they mean a lot to me--which really does make him a "good boy".
I am feeling a bit anxious about this Saturday. I don't know what to expect. I asked H Tuesday night whether he wanted to plan something while D and BF are gone at the prom, or if he wanted us to plan something together, or let me. Did he want to do something at home or go out? He said he would have to think about it. Could he be thinking about surprising me? Or is he going to do his usual and ask me at the last minute what I want to do or where I would like to go?
H has shied away from planning anything in the past because he was afraid I would expect too much and if it didn't go the way I expected I would be mad. I don't think that would make me mad, but he does. He would say that when we were having one of our R talks and his feelings were hurt. He would say the thing about planning completely out of context and add something about spontaneity and go on to some other complaint. I don't get a chance to ask him what he meant and don't really want to because I want to get back to whatever we had really been talking about or just soothing his hurt feelings. When I try to ask him what he meant at a later date, he gets mad again. I don't know how to figure out where his head is without making him mad. I don't want to lose what we have gained either.
As far as "dressing up" for my H. I am only hesitant because it hurts to not get a response. I think he likes it. It just takes a lot to get him to notice.
