She's moving out and says that it's permanent

[Heywyre]

12_51 - don't be too hard on yourself. But, on the other hand, you do need to get who you are back. A lot of us have lost ourselves in our R and that's not a good thing.

Think of all the things you used to be when you first met. I have been trying to do those things again too. It's so easy for us to get into a rut and take things for granted. I am trying to treat my R like it was new (well, to some degree) and do all the things I would do if I was single. For instance, we all have a tendancy to let ourselves go a little when we are comfortable in a R - but that isn't exactly a good thing is it?

We try to be accommodating but we end up losing our pride, our morals, go outside our boundaries. H and I have been talking about boundaries a lot lately - due to C. I know I am way more conservative than he is but I am flexible too. I know he needs his freedom but I haven't set limits for myself and unfortunately allowed our R to go places I didn't want to go.

When two people are together, they have to respect each others boundaries. Its not that we have to change who we are but there has to be some cutoff somewhere. I am not responsible for my H but I am responsible to him. If I think I am going to do something that will compromise our R or that is not within his boundaries, I have an obligation to take that under consideration before I do anything.

My H went outside my boundaries way too many times. We are trying to establish those boundaries again and it is not easy. In the meantime I am working VERY hard on getting ME back and it seems to be working in attracting him back to me again.

There were things that attracted both you to each other - what were they? Work on those things for yourself - no one else. This is about YOU now and she is going to have to face her own demons