Sorry things have been so hard for you, 12_51. I think your wife is running away because she is scared to death of facing her own issues. She is running in an effort to avoid them. If the pain of facing her issues is worse than the pain of a failed R, she may chose to let the R fail. If she doesn't face her issues, she will never be happy, either, not with you and not with anyone else. She will repeat the same mistakes.
It sounds like the sessions with the MC touched a nerve with your W and she is withdrawing to try to protect herself from further pain. I can't remember if you mentioned this previously, but I'd guess that she has suppressed trauma from her past, maybe from her childhood or from a previous relationship.
At this point, all you CAN do is work on yourself. You can't make her go to the sessions, you can't make her work on herself, you can't make her want to come back. I understand how frustrating this can be. Try not to let it get in the way of your progress.
It's NEVER 100% one person's problem. Both partners play a role in marriage problems. You can only try to fix your part of it to the best of your ability.
