It sounds like you have a firm plan on expectations for paying bills. Just make sure to be firm when you have that discussion with her. Do not ASK her opinion or thoughts.(She didn't consider your opinion on whether she should move out) Keep your voice firm and keep yourself in control of the situation. TELL her how things will be if she moves out. If she asks you how she can manage it or whether it is "fair", etc., just say that she needs to figure it out. The less you say, the better. Let her be the one that talks and if that means (uncomfortable) silence, then so be it. Make sure you are ABSOLUTELY sure of what you want and do not allow for waffling. Since she may not be used to having you act this way, it will be interesting to see how she reacts. Will she get upset or will she just follow your lead?? The less you say the better so you can watch her reactions. After your first conversation about finances, sit back and review how things went - how she reacted, where you noticed your resolve weaken ,etc. Regroup and be ready for the next go around. The key should be that you want to keep the marriage intact but do not want to get "screwed" if it does not work out. You want to be fair.
What state do you live in? I ask because if you have a dissolution versus a divorce, it makes a difference in approach. Many people prefer a dissolution because it is cheaper but the catch is that BOTH parties have to agree. So in many ways both parties are in total control because if they really do not believe the settlement is fair to them, then they can file for divorce and force a judge to decide. Divorces can drag out and are costly so many people prefer to avoid them.
Oh and since you told your wife you are busy tonight, go out and do something!! A workout, dinner with friends, a movie, anything!
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
