That's why Deida's concept can work for anyone - the point (from what I can tell) is to have a purpose which keeps you focused on something in your control, gives you something to work on when other things in your life fall apart, gives you strength, etc.
I’m not sure that is exactly what Dieda means, though it sounds a little similar. The problem I see in your definition is that such a purpose sounds more like a distraction from the stress of chasing a woman, thereby reducing dependence and appearance of neediness. Dieda does not say that. He says a man should pursue his purpose for the sake of the purpose. If a woman is attracted to that purpose, then all is well. If she is not, then she is the wrong woman, go find another.
Whether that activity is overtly masculine (military, career, etc.)or not (art, politics, family, etc.) the point is that you are self reliant and self validating.
Ok so far....
Ironically by lifting the burden of validation off your partner, you actually FREE them to validate you.
... up to this point. A relationship can work like this, but this idea can also be a setup for trouble. If the intention is to free the woman of burdens so she can better validate the man, then you are back into the enmeshment loop.
