Hapinees, is it even possible part II

[fearless]

Mojo - what CeMar wants is a woman who will appreciate him on the level of "male candy".

It would be much easier if that was true. Unfortunately from what he has written before (see below) I do not think that's what he wants either.

Cemar - I believe that maybe what I should have said is soul mates instead of lovers. What I want is the highest form of relationship, an all inclusive relationship. Companionship is NOT a complete relationship, it is much lower on the ladder. I want a relationship that IS companionship AND lovers AND best friends and (fill in the blank). If that is what soul mates are, then I guess that would be it.

Personally I think the Alpha male terminology is thrown around way too much without a good definition of what it means. I do not think alpha male characteristics are necessarily "good" (or "bad"). It's kind of like the guy who likes to fight. Some women are attracted to that characteristic (seeing them as strong) and other women are not (seeing them as stupid). IMO neither viewpoint is really right or wrong; it is just a different way of looking at it. (Assuming the guy is not a bully and is not just randomly picking fights. My Grandfather, who I adored, was the kind of guy to get into fights so I am familiar with this behavior. Honestly I am not even sure that it attracted my Grandmother as much as it did not turn her off either. She was known to get into fights as a kid so maybe it was a kind of kindred spirit thing a la "The Quiet Man." Plus she basically ruled the roost at home.)

Anyway... my point would be that whether you are alpha male or not, being confident and sure of yourself whatever your personality is the way to attract HEALTHY attention and create a HEALTHY relationship. That's why Deida's concept can work for anyone - the point (from what I can tell) is to have a purpose which keeps you focused on something in your control, gives you something to work on when other things in your life fall apart, gives you strength, etc. Whether that activity is overtly masculine (military, career, etc.)or not (art, politics, family, etc.) the point is that you are self reliant and self validating. Ironically by lifting the burden of validation off your partner, you actually FREE them to validate you.