I have no quarrel with you wanting to be desired as a goal, though it is something that leaves you quite vulnerable, as you know. But focusing on the fact that you cannot catch this fish without strategizing how to build the best bait and develop the best method for casting out that bait is what traps you. If you make it your purpose or goal in life to be the best bait maker and the best fisherman, you will catch more fish. If you don’t necessarily want all those fish, just to keep the one you already have. But since you cannot force her to stay what method are you willing to use to entice her to stay? If being a master fisherman will work to entice all the other fish, it is a pretty sure bet the same will entice your wife.
My goal WAS to have a women that wants me. My goal was to have a lover for the rest of my life.
Rather than thinking of the above as your “goal,” think of having a woman how desires you as your reward for successful implementation and execution of your goal. Your goal should be to become a master fisherman, continually refining his bait, his tools, his methods, etc. The reward is a woman who wants you. Once you stop pursuit of your goal, your reward will vanish too. Savvy?
So going back to my old analogy of paths and doors, try to understand what it is that attracts your wife to a man. Which of her many doors is the way to her heart? Then ask yourself what kind of bait and method will you use to entice her to open that door? In other words, as everyone here has been telling you for EONS, what are YOU going to do to make yourself attractive to your W? That work on yourself, which includes a successful and stable career, inner happiness and peace, a knowledge of and confidence in yourself, is what your goal should be. A loving W is your reward, but not your goal.
