I agree with you completely AH, and so does my H. He told her that adoption was a noble thing to do, but she doesn't want that. I have a very good friend who gave a baby up for adoption, and it was the best thing she ever did for herself, the baby, and her other son. She has never regretted giving that child a home with two people who really wanted a child.
The OW's logic is very messed up. She lives in a small town, and already has a two year old with a man who doesn't want anything to do with her. She doesn't want to deal with people knowing she is pregnant, and then giving the baby up. That is also the reason she doesn't want a second child without a father, because she thinks she will be talked about, and that no one will ever want her. I guess she didn't think about how people would feel about her dating a married man. That was no big deal.
At 28, you would think she would be beyond thinking so selfishly. But I guess she obviously has some issues of her own to begin with. Sometimes I look at her, and worry about my daughter turning out like that. She came from a broken home, where her parents told her they were getting a divorce, and a week later her mom's boyfriend moved in. She actually told my H that she turned out OK, so our kids would too. I don't think she turned out all right.
The only thing that gives me comfort, is that I will raise my daughter with more self respect than she obviously has. I don't think a child necessarily needs two parents to be raised properly, but they at least need one that can do the job right. Obviously she didn't have that growing up.
Look at all the wonderful parents on this board, those are the parents who will give their kids what they need to become healthy adults. Those are the kids who will turn out all right.
