FWIW...I look at some of what you are saying as my part in maintaining my marriage. Yes, I occasionally have to bring up our SL to my H, because he (like everyone else) has the tendancy to slip back into old habits...so since a more regular SL is important to ME I've learned to view addressing it and not holding it in as my part in maintaining that part of our marriage. Just as I would get my hiney back to the gym when I've been lazy about keeping it in shape in order to maintain my physical health....I do my part to maintain our sexual health as well. It's not that meeting my need in this manner isn't important to him, but being human...he's likely to slip back into old familiar behaviors...I mean he's spent YEARS forming that behavior, when I recognize this it's up to me to speak up quickly about it. In our marriage it really does help.
I honestly don't ever think I'll be able to stop maintaining this part of our marriage...but that's ok because when I look at it as maintenance it makes perfect sense to me that I would continue.
