Yes, I was hoping to piss you off. Why was I trying to piss you off.
It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.
You are really angry at your wife right now, and for fear of her behavior (what she may or may not do), you hold it in. Keep the peace.
I get rude and in your face, and you won't tell me to take a leap for Fck off... not even in a nice way.
I don't imagine you deal with your business customers that way. Do they come in and tell you how to do your job? Or do they come to you because they think you are good at what you do? Do you get repeat business because they tell you how its going to be done, or because they have faith in you?
Have you ever told a client/customer... 'sorry, I can't help you?' Not because they weren't willing to pay you, but because you had a business instinct that told you it wouldn't be wise to go there? Have you ever had an instance where you ignored that gut feeling, and did it anyway... and later wish you had listened to your gut?
My point is... you know how to do these things because you have learned them over time. In order for you to succeed in business, you go with what works, and you try really hard not to repeat your mistakes. If you don't do this, your business isn't going to make it.
As a business owner, I would imagine you are pretty confident at what you do. I'm sure there are times when you run into things/situation you don't know how to handle, so you either learn it or go to someone you trust that can help you.
Are you feeling that? Nodding your head?
Now. Take that same attitude, same feeling... and apply it to your marriage and your wife. The same ethics and feeling you use to define yourself as a businessman... use to define yourself as a husband. Forge a personal mission statement. Be it. Imagine how that would determine your behaviors in all kinds of situations with your wife and personal life.
This is the beginning of defining Who You Are... hanging out your shingle, as it were. This one personal mission statement is the beginning of you... your personal foundation. From there, you build the structure of you. The structure(s) of you... are called boundaries.
Boundaries define and defend the personal mission statement.
Do the same thing for your 180.
And just as it takes time to build a business, it is going to take some time for your wife to see and realize your 180 and your boundaries. Remain consistent.
Yes, vent here... but don't let the panic take you over. Go back and read my rude post and let it piss you off again so you can harden your resolve.
Doing all the above doesn't guarantee you'll get your wife back... but I guarantee you if you do all the above, you WILL get your gonads back.
