Just read this thread. This must be a confusing time.
I'm pretty new here. But, it's interesting to me to see how the advice and style can vary from one advice giver to the next. I can imagine several reasons... including personality types, the freshness of their experience, and what side of what issues in their relationship they happen to come from vs. yours.
I haven't read any other posts from Corri, but my guess/hope is that Corri trying to make you a little angry, get the adreneline flowing, and give you enough momentum to make a full "180" degree change in your attitude and behavior. I can only guess Corri has the best of intentions. But, to me it seems a bit harsh.
Regarding the advice to talk to a lawyer, I think that is a good idea for a few reasons. For one, asking a local lawyer is the only way to get the right answers for your area and situation. Secondly, I've known people whose spouse did some really stupid and vindicitve spending in the midst of their break-up. It sounds like your wife is nicer and calmer than that, but a lawyer could size up the situation more objectively. Finally, you'll have no reason to ask financial questions here, and then there will be no reason for anyone to jump to conclusions about whether such issues are too important to you now.
To me, it seems natural to want to know about the engagement ring. In my limited experience, the stance people take on what is the right thing to do seems to vary by sex, but maybe it's more complicated than that. And although it may seem like a financial issue on the surface, I wouldn't be surprised if its more a symbol of what was promised and hoped for in the relationship.
Hang in there. No matter whether the relationship ends or gets new wings, I have no doubt happier times can be yours.
