You know... you might want to pick up a book called, "Mama Gena's Owner and Operators Guide for Men." She has a web site... and quite a few books.
Number one, the woman is flippin' hilarious. And number two, a lot of what she says... works.
Make sure you continue catching your husband doing things 'right.' Take little steps, because he probably is a bit wary of this new you. If I were you, I would really take the time to explain to him, in one of your emails, how different you feel now that you are taking the AD... so he can really get a sense of how bad you feel about all the years of anger, number one, and so he can understand that some of it may have been beyond your control. Really try to describe it for him... but not to make him feel bad, but to give him the hope he needs that the changes happening in you aren't just temporary.
Men really do want to make their women happy. I think if you continue to be patient, and work on things outside the bedroom, he will begin to come around inside the bedroom. Try to be patient. Let it go for a time. If you come out with something a bit 'brazen' right now... he's just going to take it as you trying to 'control' him, and what he's doing isn't good enough. He'll take what you are doing/saying, not as a constructive, come-play-with-me suggestion... but as a criticism.
I noticed, also, that you are asking him... 'would it be okay if I did this... would it be okay if I did that...' Good for you. You don't want to become weak and meek... but asking for an opinion, because you really want it... not because you want to manipulate him, is very important to a man.
Keep up your good work. Get Mama Gena's book. I KNOW you will love it!
