It's not what someone else perceives your problems to be that matters because you're not going to sincerely and deeply CHANGE just because someone else thinks you need to.
No, but it does help identify the priortiy of which problems need to be solved first, or which problems are more serious than others. And I do feel that flaws or problems, as perceived by others, are important. Espcially when it involves people trying to maintain relationships or live in close proximity, or maintain what would be "societal norms".
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This is the part where you come face to face with yourself and your God and all that you are NOT in spite of all you were created to BE.
Some men won't 'go there' because they think they're "self-made".
Unfortunately, I can't really debate or comment on your statement. I have never been a devout or overly religious man. I have never been an overly philosophical person either. Do I believe in God? Yes, w/o a doubt. Let's leave it @ that.
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Nevertheless, this is now not a bit about her and ALL about you.
Not YOU living with her, either.
But you being able to live with YOURSELF even if she is gone.
This is not about me. This is not about her. This is about two people who made a commitment. That commitment of M and 2 each other. W/in that commitment of M is love, honor and support. Much like the vows say. I don't say obey, b/c I don't feel there should be a difference in power. It's not about power @ all. Difference of responsibility, but not power. Those 2 people made another commitment. They chose to have C. They made a commitment to the C to love them, care for them, support them, nurture them and protect them. Anymore, in today society, not very many people are willing to stand by their commitments. There is no stigma attached to giving up and walking out. It's too easy. This goes for a lot of things now-a-days.
Can I live w/ myself if she's gone. Yes, for the fact I know I'm trying to do anything and everything I can for my C. Will I feel like I've failed my children? Possibly. Can I accept failure? Most definitely. Will it be painful. Most likely, but that pain will not just be b/c she's not there with me. That pain will be b/c my C will be suffering as well. They don't have a choice in the matter. W does. Seems to me I remember one of the founding principles of all of this is "L is a choice". That's fine if you're an adult. But C don't really have that choice. They don't know it's theirs yet. C don't ask to be brought in to this world. We make that decision. I may not have found everything I need to do as of yet, but that's why I'm trying to find out more. I'm not done yet. I'm not just giving up, walking out and saying "life's tough, but I don't feel like working on it anymore"
BeinMe posted
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. . .Children are resilient to a point, but why should they have to be. Why can't they just have a wonderful, stress free childhood?
I can't agree more. Children shouldn't have to suffer b/c someone decided it was just too tough, or they've "changed". I don't by it. It's a copout.
Is this about me? NO. Is this about my C? That's what it's basically come down to. Will I be happier if I'm able to come to a solution that is the most benefitial for my children. You betcha'. But there's not a thing wrong w/ that either.
