Quote: --------------------------------------------------- You are a straight to the point kind of guy and probably less of an analyzer than many posters on this board. ---------------------------------------------------
I don't know that I am less of an analyzer, I just use a different methodology.
Quote: ---------------------------------------------------- I've also learned recently that your approach is often more effective. Throwing a chocolate your way! ----------------------------------------------------
That is quite a complement considering the talents of posters here. Thanks for the chocolate!
You have made a really great start, as you said, the challenge will be in maintaining the momentum. No giving up on the first bump
Quote: ---------------------------------------------------- I know several couples that F like bunnies and they report being fairly miserable overall. So.... ----------------------------------------------------
Absolutely. I knew a couple when I was younger that both had sex drives that exceeded my own. They were the most miserable people I had ever met. Form does not always follow function
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
I just caught up on your thread and your weekend. How wonderful!!! Great job by YOU and MrLFL!!
It's amazing to see how different so many of us are but I think you perfectly captured one issue in marriages-
Quote:
I guess the point is that it almost seems easy once the two people get their sh*t together. But if one person is dragging their heels, it can seem a monumental problem to overcome.
I think Michele's point is still accurate that one person working on themselves and the marriage can still improve things. It's more that her theory of taking care of yourself (GAL, acting as if, etc.) help the marriage along by a) getting yourself together (in case you are the one really in the way) and b) by getting yourself together you take pressure off your spouse, allow them space to see themselves, AND maybe inspire them also (which it appears you may have done )
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
Just an update since I tend to let my threads fall away into oblivion most of the time:
H and I are still in a really great place. Very affectionate, emotionally close, just happy overall. Sex is still not that different in terms of frequency but when we do have sex, it is really so much better than in the past. And I am quite certain a large part has just been my attitude. But also, H is expressing himself much more freely, especially in the sexual arena. He actually said he wanted a "blow job" yesterday. That is so not his style so I am glad to see he is getting out of his own comfort zone. And no, we did not get to do the deed because of the myriad of other issues going on with kids, illness, the list goes on. But it didn't even matter. It was more him Wanting to do it that made me happy. He has sexual desire like any other man. How about that. News to me. The way he is different than some men is that he needs to feel good about the R to Want to have the sex. And I guess that is pretty healthy. So that is where we are right now, sexually. Interestingly, the SL and our overall intimacy has really made us get our act together in other ways as well. We are almost out of debt from all the chaos of the S and we decided to use the rest of our tax return on a much deserved family vacation to Disney this summer. The kids are thrilled, needless to say. And so are we. I haven't been to Disney since I was a kid. Yippeeeee!
Congrats that things are good and happy in your world! My H is like yours in the emotions and sex being related arena. So, I usually know that when he is tense and stressed there is simply NO WAY. Hey - wonder what you can get going on the It's a Small World ride!
Now why do I have a feeling sex will be the last thing on our minds at Disney. Hmmm... let's see: 9 billion degrees, Screaming kids everywhere. Not to mention adults dressed up as Winnie the Pooh and stuff. Ah, sexy.
Hope your pregnancy is coming to a happy end soon.
Update: Things are going great in the LFL household. We had an amazing sexual encounter on Saturday night, about 11pm. Unfortunately, I woke up about two hours later vomiting. Of course H had to joke, "so let's see, the last thing that happened before you barfed was we had sex, hmmm" lol. And no I am not preggo. That ship has sailed. I think I caught a 24 hour bug or something. Feel ok now. Speaking of preggos, hope you are doing well Karen. Those last few weeks are a killer. Much sympathy to you. Really nothing else to report. Although regarding the sexual encounter, we made some more good progress on our communication. H came to bed with a face full of stuble. He knows I hate that "button shock" lol down there when he doesn't shave. He jumped up and shaved in record time and I didn't even take offense to him not be "prepared" Old LFL would have been annoyed. New LFL was very greatful that H is willing to do what it takes to have great sex. And we did! CBT in action.
Dammm!!!!!!!! I find my thread and read my last post and find it very annoying that I cannot maintain one F-ing! month! of happiness. The strange part is most of the R with H is "fine." He doesn't know how stressed I am and I don't have the desire to share it with him. I just need to vent here right now. I am feeling a little overwhelmed. I'm stressed about what I wrote yesterday, I'm stressed about lots of crap going on at work, I'm stressed that one of my best friends just told me she is getting separated (by her choice), and I am feeling just so tired of the monotony. I think I look for trouble just to make my life a little more interesting, a little more passionate, a little more...something. I know this is all about ME! Which is good and bad. I have no one but myself to blame. Why can't I just get my sh!t together!!!! Ahhhh!!!! H and I have a lovely weekend planned so at least I have some things to look forward to. I need to pull myself together. But my emotions are constantly getting the best of me. I'm way too emotional for my own good. I hate being bored. I hate the drudgery of life. But sometimes that is what you just have to put up with right? It's not all fun and games. Ok, I'm done venting for now. I'm sorry if I am not getting to other people's threads. Oh, Mojo, I did see your new picture and really liked it. Have fun on your dates. You deserve it. Gotta go deal with "real life" now.
LFL- I have a friend who's going through separation right now as well, by her choice. It's amazing how draining it can be to watch other people, people you care about, go through tough times. Boredom....with two little kids that run me ragged, I can't relate. But monotony, yes, I can totally relate to that. Try to keep yourself busy-assuming you don't want any more kids (because that does WONDERS for keeping you busy ), karate works great for me. Do you have stuff you like to do? Really like doing? Hey, I know! You could run a marathon. There's a guy at work running for kids with cancer, I so admire that he can do that. But it's not for me, lol. My H has so many hobbies, I really struggled with finding me, finding what I like and find enjoyable. In spite of really wanting to find something, it wasn't until I cheated on my H and stress was about to eat me alive that I finally found karate. I suggest you don't wait that long, lol. Speaking of karate, I must feed my little people so that we can be off to class.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
)
Old LFL would have been annoyed. New LFL was very greatful that H is willing to do what it takes to have great sex.