I'm so glad you decided to get off your A$$ and walk to the store Feels good, doesn't it?
You wrote: "I've just got to figure out exactly what that will look like and start getting me and my kids there...if h follows along good if not well then I'll take care of that."
This is the most hopeful, empowered, helpful thing I have heard you say in a very long time. And, by far the best for YOU, YOUR KIDS, and YOUR R, whether that R turns out to be H and W or merely co-parents.
You are moving now Progress is coming, one way or another.
"I have to step up to the plate and take charge of my life."
That, my dear, is what you have already started to do. I see it, I really do.
And no, you aren't insane, you are merely strong enough to have an open heart even as you risk changes that may end your M for the sake of all involved. (And you said you couldn't do it, you already *are.*)
I'm so happy you have found your hope. Not too hard once you make it for yourself
Feels good, doesn't it?
Progress is coming, one way or another. 
