Have you ever honestly turned the mirror around and looked at yourself?
Having been here this long, you have surely had time for introspection but it seems any insight you may have gained and/or changes you might have made is/are not being conveyed well to your wife.
Yes, I have. It took me a while to finally figure it out after W first told me she wanted D. I realized there were numerous things that I needed to change about myself. Things that contributed to the demise of our M. Confirmed w/ W, that what I found out about myself did need to be worked on and W also confirmed that I had changed them for to the positive. When working on them asked W for feedback to make sure we were communicating. W acknowledge all of these. But recently W has told me it didn't really make a diffence b/c she had changed. She just wasn't sure how she had changed. She's still trying to find herself. In the beginning of our new R, W agreed there were going to be things that weren't perfect but we would continue to work and grow. Unfortunately, I cannot read her mind to find out what it is she requires or dislikes. This is very ironic, since this is what she always used to say to me. She will not tell me what is bother her about the R, other than she has changed.
We had agreed, in order to help each other understand the other, to write down and discuss those things that each felt could use improvement. How it was that each of us need to communicate so that the other knew what was being said. W has not been willing to do so. I will also admit, I have not been as diligent as of late. Backslid, if you will. I have refocused my efforts. However, the distancing and the absence of my W started prior to this.
Quote:
Sorry if you have done this and you and regular posters to you have a different perception than I do. I do not mean to offend you.
I don't take offense. I asked for your help and evalution b/c you take a very honest and practical approach in the theads or yours that I have. "You call it, like you see it".
I ask for your O, in the hopes that you see something that neither my W or I are seeing, b/c you have been on both sides.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, if I missed something in my own personal evaluation, then I want to know about it. Whether good, bad or indifferent. It is difficult for a person to see all of their faults. I know I have many. Some I have discovered. Others I'm sure I have not. I have worked to correct some, not all. I don't thing anyone can every correct all of their own faults, but we can try. I also feel that sometimes a person must have help from those closest, to help point out those faults. The person cannot correct those faults which they are not aware bother those closest. At that same time, I don't believe that those who feel they are being offended can justly claim that offense if they are not willing to lend their assistance in pointing out those faults.
