Life goes on, and it ain't about Job

[25yearsmlc]

8 and all,

THAT IS the question. How to forgive ongoing poop? And for me anyway, how to forgive behavior I cannot understand....

In my sitch, the "ongoing" nature of being apart will resolve as my d9 and I move THERE to be with H...(( we can argue a decade about that choice, but I THINK it's what is best for d9 and that counts for something, plus H is making efforts in his own way...I digress)).

I pray to God that He will "help me forgive H, to have an open heart and mind, to let me know HIS will in all this, and to give me the strength to follow it." I think it is all we can do. We cannot/will not become one of those people you meet, who tells you within the first 15 minutes of Knowing them, that their H/W left them..." They are life long victims and they are too bitter. Simply put, we, the LBSers, have to do better than that. We are modelling for our children, so many things. Oh, btw, yes it is ironic that YOU are going to the class about kids and divorce impact, but since you are anyhow, you may want to read "The Case Against Divorce" b/c it talks about the older kids, usually daughters, who try to "rescue" the LBSer.

My d18 did that, and I had to work to make sure SHE had fun and friends and a life of her own. I had to show her it was not her responsibility to "make" me happy. Hope this helps, I'm sending you prayers.... but wanting to send your wife a few slaps to knock some sense into her... jk.

j-

[osu43130]

I'm not going to waste my energy feeling vengeful and angry at his actions, past, present or future.

I guess I am right there with you. I do not get angry or vengful anymore either so Iguess in my own way I have forgave her but It still does not make it easy when she acts like she is 18 again and does not see the affect this is having on the kids. Either way that is something that she will have to face one day or another.

Sorry 8,
But just seemed like a good topic here...

[osu43130]

but wanting to send your wife a few slaps to knock some sense into her... jk.

25,
It might have been a joke but there is always a little truth in every joke or it would not be funny....LOL

Nice post 25

[81388*]

Thanks all, I am sorry that I missed the hijack. No problem btw. What a great discussion. I am not sure I have forgiven my wife yet, I think some times that I am still in damage controll mode and will worry about the rest of it after it is all said and done. I have forgiven to some extent, but as was addressed, it is an ongoing thing. As new things happen, I find myself working it over and for the most part trying to find some forgiveness.

Some things are harder then others, I have not forgiven the affair(s), but with time and rebuilt trust feel like I most likely could. That is the thing that still stings to even think about, her choosing to be intimate with someone else, all the while acting like a wife and mother.

Most of the rest of it rolls off, and I do struggle from time to time with self-rightiousness, but not directly with my wife.

25;
POS is piece of sh!t, as in POS OM.

I have to finish getting dinner ready, I will check in tonight.