THAT IS the question. How to forgive ongoing poop? And for me anyway, how to forgive behavior I cannot understand....
In my sitch, the "ongoing" nature of being apart will resolve as my d9 and I move THERE to be with H...(( we can argue a decade about that choice, but I THINK it's what is best for d9 and that counts for something, plus H is making efforts in his own way...I digress)).
I pray to God that He will "help me forgive H, to have an open heart and mind, to let me know HIS will in all this, and to give me the strength to follow it." I think it is all we can do. We cannot/will not become one of those people you meet, who tells you within the first 15 minutes of Knowing them, that their H/W left them..." They are life long victims and they are too bitter. Simply put, we, the LBSers, have to do better than that. We are modelling for our children, so many things. Oh, btw, yes it is ironic that YOU are going to the class about kids and divorce impact, but since you are anyhow, you may want to read "The Case Against Divorce" b/c it talks about the older kids, usually daughters, who try to "rescue" the LBSer.
My d18 did that, and I had to work to make sure SHE had fun and friends and a life of her own. I had to show her it was not her responsibility to "make" me happy. Hope this helps, I'm sending you prayers.... but wanting to send your wife a few slaps to knock some sense into her... jk.
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
