Ok, I understand to a point. I don't know if it's The DR book or the people here that say this, but I thought us wives have to make the home feel like a safe haven so that they will want o stay home?? I know that what has worked in the past as far as him stopping from staying out or going out all night was when I was "killing him w/ kindness". Even in the beginning when I first found out ,one of my 180's were to learn how to cook more variety of recipes as H is a much better cook than I ( and by the way supposedely so is OW). H was coming home everyday to see what new item I had on the menu and at first I did not understand it when he would comem in a bad mood and tell me that it wasn't me, but then I gathered she was mad at him for coming straight home again. I was finally getting more compliments and also the fights were not like before.
I know michelle says to keep doing what works., but it just seemes like when I would detach thingsd got worse and thats when he would see her more! I noticed he started back up again (changing back) when I was no longer available or telling him where I was going. The last time I asked him to wacth the girls on a Saturday while I was going to run errrands I was able to read H' body language clearly, it was the first time I saw him hurting, looked down and w/ a very hurt look ( i think he thought I was going to go see another man). That day is when H took the girls for the 1st time to OW's for a sleep over! Things went downhill after that b/c I told him he crossed the line w/ the children.
