Tyler, How do you handle the setbacks? It seems after I tried the 180 and stopped pursuing, I missed the baby steps and then reverted back to my old ways of wanting to talk about the R. This just pushed it further away so then I get the setbacks and wonder if I can continue and if I made the right choice. I have been trying this from far away and the emails and phone calls don't seem to do much. She says she needs to spend time around me to see if she can love me again. Is that a baby step or am I just fooling myself? When I get back from deployment she does want to take a vacation with me and my children so that to me is a huge step but in my mind I wonder if she is just doing it for the girls? Hard to tell where and what to do from here.
I would say that is a giant baby step, sort of like jumbo shrimp. She is saying that she wants to spend time around you to see if there is still something there. Dude, my W doesn't want to spend time around me, she told me this Saturday when I asked her if she would like to ride with me while I ran some errands. I would love to hear that W wants to spend some time with me to see if there is anything there.
Chuck described the setbacks as chasing them back behind the wall they have built between us. Think of it that way. I try to visualize this wall that she has built between us, if I chase her back behind it with setbacks that just affirms her belief that I have not really changed and that she needs to build the wall thicker and bigger to protect herself.
She is saying that she wants to spend time around you to see if there is still something there. Dude, my W doesn't want to spend time around me, she told me this Saturday when I asked her if she would like to ride with me while I ran some errands. I would love to hear that W wants to spend some time with me to see if there is anything there.
