Ok Chicki, now remember ahead of time, you asked me to come over and give you some insight.
First things first, what the hell were you thinking with that email? Are you kidding me, your gonna send him this:
Quote:
Proverbs 6:32 & 33 But a man who commits adultery, lacks judgement; whosoever does so destroys himself.Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away.
I have an idea, why don't you send him another email and tell him that he is going to hell, maybe that will make him feel bad enough to stop what he is doing? You are going to push him away with this crap. If the bible was his guide right now he wouldnt be with the OW in the first place. Do you think your H is so stupid that he doesn't know that what he is doing is wrong? He knows, you rubbing it in his face will not help the situation, only make it worse as now you have shown him that you are standing as his judge and jury for his behavior and how can you possibly forgive him when you so obviously believe he is a sinner.
Detachment means leave him the hell alone. This is not justifying his behavior in any way, he's a f^cking pig for what he is doing. You just need to leave him be. You also need to quit texting him, don't call him, don't chase him. Do you want him to come running back to you for all the wrong reasons and have no resolve for what he did to fail you in the first place. This will only provide for a reoccurence of the same events down the road. HE has to realize what went wrong and sdeal with it himself, you cannot fix him.
Second, you tried to have sex with him after already feeling bad about giving in the time before? Then you approached him on a night when he told you he was exhausted and in a bad mood? He told you he didnt want to go to OW, which means he didnt want sex, yet you set yourself up to be hurt by going to him anyway? Chicki what the hell are you doing?
Third, this:
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I cannot and will not be in a three-way marriage. I will continue to do my "wifely" duties of cooking,etc. b/c the Bible says I must be the submissive wife and "feed the hungry", BUT that does not mean I will let you walk all over me like a doormat.
OK, now let me tell you what this says to me as a man, if I was a cheating husband and my wife said this to me. My Wife says she won't tolerate me sleeping with my girlfriend anymore, but because th ebible tells her so she is still going to cook and clean for me. So now I have my girlfriend who I can F^ck when I need sex, and my wife who will basically be my maid and servant, how lucky am I?
Look Chicki, if you are going to establish boundaries with your H, then you need to stand behind them. If it is unaccpetable for him to be having an affair then tell him no more you until it is over. You are giving him his cake and eat it to lifestyle and he is going to continue with that for as long as you will allow. If he is ever going to give up his R with the OW, then he needs to be out there on his own without you to fall back on. Chicki, this may sound like an odd question, but have you read DR or DB? Seems like you should be seeing that some of yor behaviors are totally against the philosophy that we are supposed to be following here.
I am at work now, and will follow up more later with you, but what I can tell you is that you are giving your H way to muchfreedom on this and not giving him enough to miss right now. You need to change that and show him what his life will be if he chooses to leave his family for this OW.
