Preparing for the end game, maybe.

[LoginName]

LOL, I lived in Georgia for a while. I learned to call all pop "coke" and to say "y'all". I think it's a great word. I love a good southern breakfast too.

My mom thinks my W is being very selfish choosing a job over family. I can see her's and your point. But what can I do? I see she needs this. I think if we were totally happily in love, we probably would face the same delima. If we were totally in love and the M was strong, we might all move down there. My W followed me in the Navy from place to place. I could follow her. the kids are best served, IMHO, by having 2 parents in a good R. Changing schools can be hard, but they'd survive. So, now, I still have a chance to keep my family (long distance for a while), support my W, and my S gets to stay in the HS he likes. It could be worse.

My question is, why doesn't she just say she loves me and then we can get to the real work of making the M/R better? I've got some ideas. She is afraid of losing herself again. She is angry at me (although I doubt she'd admit it) for my A, for the quilt and sense of being trapped and unloved over the years (even is some or most was just her perception), maybe because she still loves the OM better than me (bad thinking, not constructive, but it pops into my head. My guess is that your H will have that thought pop into his head occasionally. If he is smart, he'll immediately stop that kind of thinking and realize you chose him - and that he is worthy regardless of your choice).

I think she really wants the chance to try things on her own for a while too. I just hope the 'for a while' part doesnt' last too long.

thanks UA, I hope y'all can make it work too.