Quote: ----------------------------------------------------- But last night he said something that I just don,t get. He now thinks that there MUST have been a reason also, for all the continued lying and cheating when we had decided to make it work again.
He's sure that this is that he was still hurt from the difficult period we were having and the sores were still open. This difficult period ended after he had slept with her, but before the affair got even more out of control. At the same time he told me constantly that I was amazing; he missed me when he was away that things were great. -----------------------------------------------------
A wayward spouse would tell you that the moon is on fire if they thought you would believe it. Plain and simple, it is an excuse, grade school level.
Quote: ----------------------------------------------------- Nopkins; You mentioned the documented facts. Are their statistics of how likely a spouse is to do this again? -----------------------------------------------------
Statistically, he will do it again. What you must do, and this requires a great deal of intrepidity on your part, is to make it not worth his while. He needs help.
So both of you go and get STD tests, then the rule is simple. If he repeats any of the behaviors again, he is gone. No ifs, ands, or buts. Counseling is also mandatory with a 2 year minimum. If he stops, then the above rule applies.
That will give you something to sink your teeth into instead of feeling like a complete chump, and give him something to set his sights on.
If he is unwilling to commit to such a simple set of rules, then I would highly recommend that you unceremoniously dump him.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
