My snooping obsession maybe the nail in the coffin

[2stardog]

In my last post I mentioned My wife was going to "put her family first" for a month. The suggestion was made by my sister-in-law. Well, I thought this was a grand idea and was on board with it. But something still didn't feel right. She was on business out of town and I broke into her email account again. (the last time I used software to break in which I've since uninstalled) This time I actually took a wild guess and viola! Nothing alarmed me 'til the last evening of her trip, when I intercepted a chat between her and the OM. There was lot's of stuff that indicated to me their relationship was very much in "full swing". They both said how excited they were to see each other the next day. I was told she'd be coming home on a 9pm flight. I called the airline to find she was actually on a 6pm arrival. I was pissed off beyond belief. She was gone for three days and the first place it appeared she was headed was to see the OM, not her family. Not exactly putting family first. I decided to take my boys out to the airport to "surprise" her on her arrival. Her response actually seemed genuinely happy and we went to dinner as a family. Later that evening, I confronted her about lying to me about the flight, for which she had a "seemingly convincing" excuse. I didn't mentioned the chat for fear of her anger for snooping again. I couldn't keep a lid on it though and by the following Saturday, I snapped. I told her I got into the email account again..... So she proceeds to downplay anything in the chat, and asks how I saw it because she deleted it. And of course, she then gets pissed because I violated her privacy once again. I think she feels nothing but contempt for me right now. The only things keeping her here with me now are our mutual finnancial obigations, and our kids. I think she's even started looking for a place. I want to know if anyone else has had an "unhealthy snooping obsession" such I have. Did your spouse ever get past it? I love my wife with all my heart but, I'm afraid our trust issues maybe too deep to salvage anything. Help!! Answers Please!!!