I'm not doing so good right now. thanks for asking. We just can't seem to have a conversation about anything, it ends up with bad attitudes on both ends and sometimes an argument. I mean I'll bring up the weather and he will contradict me or make it negative. I feel like he's pounding me into the ground. Then he'll turn around and be nice again and I'm supposed to follow his lead and forget what just happened 2 seconds ago. I just don't get it. I think it has to do with me not initiating anymore-meaning no sex at all (8 mos). so he doesn't want it, it's ok. I don't want it, he's freaking!At least I'm hoping it's because of this. I think he thinks I'm having an affair since he knows I do want sex but haven't gone to him for it. You guys might think I'm crazy for not trying but I'm so tired of this whole thing and I don't know what to do anymore. A friend from church talked to him the other day(he's a pastor and knows our problem - I talked to him about it) He basically said that my H told him some things that he wasn't at liberty to discuss w/me but that maybe I needed to "look in the mirror" and change myself first, then maybe I would see a change in him. He also said not to give up fighting for a healthy sexual relationship. I've heard all of this stuff and I've been trying since the marriage to be a good/better wife and do everything I'm supposed to. And for years, I rarely brought up the subject of "no sex" so as not to push or pressure him (waiting for him to come around) and what I found was that I lost myself, my dignity and worth as a wife and I allowed behavior towards me that was unacceptable. When I finally came to my senses about 2 yrs ago, I spoke up about the unacceptable lifestyle(marriage) we were in and that's when I was accused of changing and not being the person I used to be. I feel that I have grown/matured. Before I was afraid of bringing issues up because I didn't know how he would react, but I've grown so weary that it has made me strong and unafraid of the consequences. I think he doesn't like the fact that he has to face his problem of not having desire sexually and to deal with it may be alot. But I feel that's what has to happen in order for us to get healthy in our marriage and I'm willing to walk the extra mile(maybe the last mile)Well, this is probably to long (I'm venting, sorry) but I just have to know what you guys think, I have no answers.
Nvraln