She's moving out and says that it's permanent

[Heywyre]

But I can't understand why, if I'm willing to change and in counseling, she would give up.

12_51 - if we had the answer to this question, wouldn't life be a whole heck of a lot easier?

There is no magic answer - maybe it is too little too late for her. Everyone has their own threshold as to how much they can take, maybe she has reached hers, maybe not. Maybe she is just wanting the space because she has lost herself and wants to get that back before she can make any final decisions. Moving out is not the end of things for everyone. Maybe she just needs some breathing room and from the sounds of things, you might be smothering her a little