You are telling me that you are getting double speak from her. If she were just operating from hurt and anger, she likely wouldn't be in a mood to "spare" your feelings by "letting you down easily", i.e, the counseling, and her fixed direction.
You can't control her, I am glad that you realize that.
As for what you should do. If she was doing everything dead-on true to her word, then just continue on with your approach to be a better you. However, since the truth seems to be wavering, I would at least get my assets protected.
Consider hiring a lawyer. In the mean time, definitely split your finances and cancel all joint accounts and credit cards. That might make her mad, but better she be mad and you protected that she be all smiles and you penniless.
I'm not saying your wife is a bad person. I'm sure that she isn't. She is angry, however, and if there is another person in the picture, then her thought processes and the consideration she once gave you in the marriage, will have or will be changed dramatically. Best to be prepared for it.
Like you have already said, drag you feet on the divorce. Oh, and do not use the same lawyer as your wife. Very bad idea.
Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------- I know she is really hurt and also mad. I really do understand that. But I can't understand why, if I'm willing to change and in counseling, she would give up. --------------------------------------------------------------
Resentment.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
