well obviously spouse can't find me to tell me she is leaving as she just drove away without a word to me. Chicken$hit

So, then she calls to say "I know you don't like that I leave w/o telling you...I think it only hurts you but I'm trying to respect your wishes". I said "that's because this is impossible"
and I could tell she found this rather shocking as she asked "this is impossible?" So I said, "yes, this situation is impossible" She said some other thing and then after a gap I asked "is there anything else you want to tell me?" "not right now" "Will you be home?" "in the morning" me: Goodbye.

Honestly this woman is insane.

I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it.
Stubby