Quote: Well, he wanted to snuggle, right? Isn't that good? My W likes me to spoon her, so she doesn't really move when I make her warm. Am I missing something here? Why would you NOT want to snuggle and go sleep with S?
just want to clarify, h was faced away from me and stayed that way, I said goodnight, he said keep warm but did not move toward me at all, stayed facing away from me till the am for a brief moment.
I did not want to go to sons bed cause I belong in my own bed.
if h is thinking of oM that would answer a lot of my sexual concerns!
I don't know if h is thinking of ow or not, if he misses her or not.
if h was infact "only" having an ea with ow, what the hell did they talk about, or did h just listen to her?? I mean stopping by 3x a week and talking on the phone everyday with this man? all I hear him talk about to buddie is football. and to others it's work. to me it's I'll be home at x or y gotta go here or there but that seems to be it. what the hell was their r all about???? sometimes I feel like I should just tell h, look this isn't working, you clearly are not happy with me and are only here for the kids. this is not the life I want, you can still have the kids (all be it a bit less) and go off and be with ow, hell she's making herself available for you by ding her h. so go little bird go fly away but know that I will shut the door to this birdhouse and you cannot return, life is too short to waist more of it waiting for you to decide if this is where you want to be.
tired so very very tired.
h called shortly after last post. left a message (I just didn't feel like answering) hey guys (perfect example of something is wrong his focus is on kids and not me) bla bla bla on my way should be there at x. then calls again so I answer, h is on his way home, wants to stop and bring home something for dinner so I don't have to bother cooking (gee I have a fridge full of left overs but wtf) ok says I. I am going to a cpr class this evening being held by one of my book club members. I had suggested to h maybe rent a movie for when I come home, but he didn't he suggested I find a place up here to rent from (way too rural town but I'll find it)
you are right jethro, I do not know what h is thinking or feeling and honestly I never have (and no I aint no alien, this r has sucked for a long long time) time to detach, I guess as I said to my c, my way of working on the m for now will have to be to just work on myself and bettering my life and just leave things be for now.
so I know that I don't need h, but I know that I don't want to be alone (even though I can be) so what to do what to do???
