well yesterday was yesterday. when h finally did come home it was time for dinner so we all ate, i then did the dishes, h said "i would have done that" no biggie says I. so h knows I am going to the gym but still meanders around doing what he's doing, taking dd up to bed like as I'm going to walk out the door, so I waited with son while he put dd to bed, then said bye to them both at the door.
on way home from the gym (which I joined now just have to figure out when to start) I tried to cb h, system busy, so h must be on cb with buddie but I tried again a few times (no harm in it no way for h to know how many times I tried it) and caught a break in their conversation, ask h if he needs anything, nope. then the house phone is ringing so I get to hold on. h makes me guess who is on the linem I guess fil, mil, then buddie you guessed it third times the charm so I get let go cause he has to talk more to buddie??? ya ok. h then a bit later cb's me hey LL? ya says I? what's the temp gage on your car say? 9degrees says I. ok says h. 9 degrees F (farenheight) says I f for F-ing cold!!! well that is not much of a conversation.
I go off to the post office to mail h's invoices (aren't I nice?)
I get home s is still awake but up stairs was waiting for me. h is sitting in front of fire, says that he started to drift off (it's barley 8:30) and there's nothing on tv. he's gonna get on the couch in a min. well I say well if your already falling asleep and there's nothing on tv why not just go up to bed?? so he goes but first stops at the puter and then says he wants to go lay down with son for a while. I suggest that this is not really a good idea (sorry bob) because though tonight he wants to what about when he doesn't want to and then son is asking him to??? so h agrees and goes to bed himself. about an hour later I go up take my shower kiss the kids and get in bed. h has his back to me. I say goodnight. h says keep warm but doesn't bother to move. I have a hard time falling asleep tossing and turning (consider for a moment going to sleep with son myself) wake (or rather awoken by dd at 6 am) h still in his corner but appears to move out of it some puts his arm around me (ah what a relief) typical am me with kids, I made h his coffee h takes shower I make breakfast of somekind (banana bread today) h leaves and our day goes on from there.
something is not right and I feel it!!!!
it is not simply the mundane life there is something hapening here and it is not settling right with me.is it ow?? matters not to me if it's ow h doesn't seem to be with me on "the same page" or even in the same book. I don't know.
another one of those days where h leaves at 9 and it is now 2:30 and I have yet to hear from him.
whatever!!
keep your appartment keep your customer don't ask me to put my ring back on let's just exist like this, cause oh yeah it's workin!
