MLC with young personal trainer

[andyv]

Scout332,

Mate, I feel your pain.

I am going through the same thing with my W. Ever since she started kickboxing and rockclimbing with 26 y/o KB coach, was when our R nosedived.

I had been away for work on and off for 3 months (Nov, Dec and Jan, got back beg of Feb 07), and I noticed the deteriation in the middle before the Bomb in Dec/Jan.

He showed interest in her emotionally when I didn't. She got a new network of friends all in their 20's, started going out and having a good time (whilst I was away), detached somewhat from DD and totally from me.

She too is looking amazing (I always thought she looked amazing throughout our marriage), but with all the working out etc, she looks in her early 20's.

I have gotten her to a stage of "routine" with DD, and we have allocated evenings and days to spend with her so she gets all the love and attention she deserves (W has been somewhat neglectful due to her partying).

We even attend DD's soccer games together.

W is at a stage where she is more comfortable around me, and we converse more and more everyday. She is less and less guarded.

Just continue being supportive, respect her decision and detach from her and her activities a little more.

Don't be a doormat, but just be the same person she fell in love with and continued to love for the most part of your marriage.

I think the change in my W has been from me doing the same, and her life being a little less stressed, more time for her to think clearly about things without the pressure.

I am still doing the thoughtful things that I used to, that won't change because that is who I am. GAL approach has been working well also.

If you are not in a hurry or have a time frame for working things out, then time is on your side, don't rush it and let your W go through this process.