Your H's reluctance to return home is quite similar to mine. I think there is something to the burnout theory. My H said yesterday that he just "didn't care" (about me) for several years. I think it's his way of saying he was detached, because I know he did care--obviously not enough or in the right way...
Anyway, I think my point is that it takes some time for them to get things straight in their heads, figure out what their feelings really are (if they even acknowledge them).
You are lucky to be where you are, but that doesn't make it any easier to untangle the mess. You're doing a great job--good luck!
