H has been affectionate, considerate, helpful, available and actually volunteered some feelings last night. I feel really good about the progress. We have not been to counseling yet, but I have an appt for Monday, so we'll see if we get over that hurdle.
I'm feeling much better about our sitch in general. I've taken my hands off the sitch in the sense of trying to control everything. I'm just enjoying this time, giving him the opportunity to prove himself, and trying to show my support and appreciation of his efforts.
Hi Aud, I sent you an email, but things are sound very positive. I hope the C session goes well on Monday. Ain't it true we have so very little control over anything, except ourselves (at least, that's something).
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
H showed up for the C session yesterday, and I think it went okay overall. The C asked to see him alone next week. He was not overly, um, enthusiastic about that, but he allowed the appointment to be scheduled.
I'm certain of two things: 1-H does want to be with me, and is willing to do some hard things to prove that. 2-He seems to have little remorse--it's still entirely my fault that he stopped caring.
I'm feeling kind of ambivalent about all of it. Part of me is happy and grateful to be here now. Part of me is skeptical of it all and ready to defend at any sign of attack. Overall the happy side is more powerful.
Glad to see that he at least sched the Appt. It will be easier for him to deal with his own issues with the counsler if you are not there. At least for now.
Keep strong Aud you are still doing great.
Later, ben
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Hi Aud! I am glad the C session went well. Don't allow yourself to believe that you are responsible for his ceasing to care. If that were the case, then he has given you ample reason not to care for him, and you haven't. He is defending himself, probably because deep down he feels guilty. He knows he has let his family down. How can he not, knowing the beliefs of the church.
The best advice I can give you now, is to be patient, pray everyday for your family and for clarity of thought, detach and don't let his words convince you of untruths. Look at your sitch as objectively as you can. Know that you have little control over his choices, but you have control over your attitude, and reaction, and feelings.
Take care!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I hope H will participate honestly in counseling. I have my doubts about it, but am hopeful that he will actually want to find answers and make some changes in his life. Only he can do it.
I appreciate the idea of looking at my sitch as objectively as possible and choosing my attitude, reaction and feelings from there. In some ways I have done this, and I think it's why I'm feeling a bit wary. My heart wants so badly for this to be real, but my head sees the inconsistencies in his words and is cautious.
Hi Aud, just a rah-rah of support from over here. Thinking of you and wanted to check in and let you know. Keep us posted. You're handling things really well. Pat yourself on the back for a minute
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
Aud, Trying to shake some of the cobwebs and throw a couple of words around. Wow...really. Seems strange that we are both at this point feeling anything but what we thought we would. You are right in what you said on my thread in that we are feeling "somewhat" the same thing.
Quote:I appreciate the idea of looking at my sitch as objectively as possible and choosing my attitude, reaction and feelings from there
I agree, I agree...you my fine lady do have a good head on your shoulders and you should trust your judgement no matter where it leads you..I for one hope that destination is where you want to be...because you deserve it! You are really doing well and hope only the best for you....peace
BI--how are things going in Stepford? I'm missing your fabulous insights, and hope that you are holding your own. I think of you often.
Whapu--thanks for stopping by, I know you have a lot on your plate, and it means a lot to me to have you check in.
As for me, nothing exciting is happening here. H was out of town for work last weekend, and has decided he will take Thurs and Fri off to work on our yard. I'm looking forward to having him at home for several days. For everything we've been through, I still like being around him. And I'm grateful to be where I am.
Hi Aud! Good opportunity to DB when your H is home. You sound very positive, and that can only help in your sitch.
Keep up the good work!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
